So you cant get it up?

So Erections hey? I have seen a handful in my time so it probably seems only fair that I have seen a few not so erections as well. Here is a post dedicated to that. Is it a big deal? will we survive? How do we deal with it? Is it more common that we realise? I guess there is the right way and the wrong way and this comes down to the situation and how you feel about the person that you were preparing to bump uglies with

Don’t make a big deal of it – he is beating himself up as it is. It’s a guys one thing that they can do that we cant and by them not doing it they feel that they have let the women down. Guys here is a news flash, girls don’t actually feel that way. Most of the time we are just happy to have you around. A cuddle of my body generally means more to me than my vagina cuddling your penis (and this is coming from someone that doesn’t like to cuddle). Sex is not the be all and end all, I regularly go months and months without it and it hasn't killed me. There are also other things that can be done instead of it, foreplay was invented for a reason.... use that instead. The last time it happened, it was with a guy I really liked and he was beating himself up about it but then he gave me the best orgasm that I have had in ever so really he was doing better than 99% of the population of men who have explored my inner depths. I thought that would have been enough for him but it turns out that it probably wasn't.

Ridicule Him - Drive that knife in, he was probably only meant to be a one night stand and if he cant stand then really you have wasted your time, your body grooming and probably a good make up day on him. This option should only be used in extreme circumstances though because its not at all nice and there will probably be causalities of war.... there was actually one time when I wasn't complimentary to a man who was unable to perform and it came back to bite me. He couldn't get it up, I was OK when it was going on but in the morning when he asked for my phone number as I was leaving I said "nah you're right mate" fist bumped him and walked out the door chuckling at his inability to be a man. It was only when I got home did I realise that I had actually lost a $600 diamond earring in his bed. If I hadn't have been an arsehole about his erectile problems I probably could have got that earring back, Proceed with caution on this one my children.

Pretend it didn't happen - "oh, you were trying to fit your penis into my vagina? I didn't notice. I'm not really interested anyway so I am fine with just kissing". If you deal with a failed erection the same way that you would deal with someone that has a boogie hanging out their nose and you are too embarrassed to tell them you will be fine. Maybe its like the ostrich approach. If you cant see it then it doesn't exist. This is what do overs are for, sure you couldn't do it the first time but I WILL give you another chance to prove yourself if I like you enough (and If I am letting you near my Vagina I probably do, gone are the days of my loose moraled exploits)

Do the work around - try everything in your power to change the situation. Find out what he likes and do those things for him, finger his arse hole, heck finger your own arse hole if he is worth it, give him a blow job... anything. It might just be the experiences that I have been through but most of the guys have still been able to come from a blow job, its just been the actual getting it ready for sex thing that has been the problem. Its pretty common to please a guy and have yourself not pleased so whats the difference really? Maybe if you exult him he will feel happier in himself and the next time around he wont have the same issue (unless you were a guy that I dated, we dated for 6 months and never had sex because he just couldn't get it up. At all. Ever. He has since made a baby thought so I guess he figured it out in the end)

I have learnt a valuable lesson through the research of this topic and it is this, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT go out drinking with smart people when you are feeling fragile in the your ability to please a man. I work with this guy who is exceptionally smart, we are talking rain man smart (he makes the notes and all) and on regaling him with my tails of woe he pulled out a calculator (on his phone yo, he may be a nerd but he isn’t pocket calculator nerd) and he did some maths for me. Apparently it is 29.3% my fault that these guys couldn’t get it up. That’s nearly 30% which is nearly 1/3!!!!!!!!!  I am too scared to ask how the maths actually worked but it went something along the lines of 1 one girl, 12 months, 5 guys, 3 failed erections and some magic fairy dust later and you come up with the magic number of 29.3%

I will leave you with this thought though, every girl that I have spoken to about it has said that it has nothing to do with me and it all comes down to the guy and that it has never happened to them. I ask you then for a moment of rational thinking… if it has never happened to them and it has happened to me with three guys in a row in the last three encounters (and a few more guys in the past just for good measure) how is it not my fault? I am now just going to sit here in my shattered confidence and self pity at my inability to please a man. If anyone wants me there is probably very little I can do for you... in that way anyway so you best keep moving.

Love and Limpness

Miss K