What? Those arent the words

I don't think that I am alone in sometimes mishearing the lyrics of songs, sometimes this mishearing can be confusing or hilarious or just down right scary. Here are some of mine...

The song:  Cheap Wine - Cold Chisel
What the words are: Cheap Wine and a Three Day Growth
What I actually hear: Cheap wine and a three legged goat
This one isn't actually mine, it was from a guy I used to work with, but in my opinion its better that the original. I am all about being an advocate for the handicapable. 

The song: Genocide - The Offspring
What the words are: Dog Eat Dog, Every day
What I actually hear: Donkey Kong Every Day
I always used to wonder what Donkey Kong had to do with Genocide, I know that sometimes I get angry when I am playing Donkey Kong Country but its no need to go all Hitler on the world... 

The song: Cotton Eyed Joe - Rednex
What the words are: Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from Cotton Eyed Joe
What I actually hear:  Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from Corn Jack Joe
Corn Jacks are delicious, actually just corn in general is delicious. Cotton Mouth is not, I do not want Jack and is Cotton any where near my mouth. You can just go Joe.

The Song: Rock the Casbah - The Clash 
What the words are: Rock the Casbah, Rock the Casbah
What I actually hear: Pop The Tadpole, Pop the Tadpole
I think this stemmed from not knowing what a Casbah is and if I am honest, I still don't actually know what it is so lets go with popping baby frogs. Its like the bubble wrap of nature

The Song: Benny and The Jet - Elton John
What the words are: Shes got Electric Boots, a Mohair Suit
What I actually hear: With Electric Boobs and mohair shoes
I am thinking that the Fem Bots from Austin Powers drew their inspiration from this song, its a pretty direct link. In relation to the Mohair shoes, I have always asked myself whether is is better to have hairy feet or a hairy body? I will let you make the decision on that one for yourself as its all about personal preference

The Song: Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
What the words are: Billie Jean is not my lover
What I actually hear: Fettuccine, is not my lover 
I've never met a Fettuccine that I didn't like, so really I guess you could say that Fettuccine is my lover and when I eat it, it is just a girl I used to know. Make sense now?

The Song:  Zombie - The Cranberries
What the words are: Zombie, Zombie, Zombie - e - e - e
What I actually hear: Some Bear, Some Bear, Some Bear e - e - e 
Is it Yogi Bear? What would happen if Yogi Bear was a Zombie? we would be in a world of Evil Ala Resident Evil. Really there is only one thing worse than Zombies and that is Zombie Bears. And here is another little off topic fact, Bears can smell when a women is menstruating.... true story.

The Song: Talking about a Revolution - Tracey Chapman
What the words are: Sitting around, waiting for a promotion
What I actually hear: Cinderella, waiting for a promotion
 Do you know what, I actually think that my wording is much better than the original, because old mate Cinders was waiting for the Prince to come and get her out of her hovel and isn't that what a promotion is all about? Honestly kids, think about.

The Song: Silent Night - The Christmas Carol
What the words are: Round Young Virgin, Mother and Child
What I actually hear: Ram Jam Virgin, Mother and Child 
I literally only just worked this one out, I was walking down to the IGA to get some ice cream and could hear the Christmas carols from the oval down the road...  Round Young is much nice than the thought of a Virgin getting the arse smashed out of her. No body wants that their first time... and like Ram Jam? There should have been no ramming or jamming as Mamma Mary was "pure" after all

All I can say is thank God for Google, it has opened my eyes to the world of correctness that I didn't even realise I was missing. Do you remember what we had to do in the days before google? having to go through the leaflet of the CDs and look at the tiny writing could be tiresome and as my days are going on, my eye site isn't as good as it was. Maybe I should possibly get my ears tested as well why we are on the topic....

Love and Lyrics 

Miss K