The Fisi is a slang term for sex-starved beta and omega males who fawn over women and worship them in order to be granted access to the mighty punani.. That is, men who heap transparently shallow compliments and favors on chicks in hopes of sexual reciprocation.
Being a fisi can be fun if you go about it in the right way. Unfortunately, most fisis are just plain desperate. And where are they mostly found? Simple. In these 7 estates.
Being a fisi can be fun if you go about it in the right way. Unfortunately, most fisis are just plain desperate. And where are they mostly found? Simple. In these 7 estates.
Rongai
I've been dissing Rongai people a lot of late but it isn't out of any ill motive. The Rongai fisi also happens to be the ‘Nyama kwa nyama' maestro. This guy's relationship with condoms is kinda like the one Bahati has with Willy Paul. Very complicated and unlikely to be resolved. The Rongai guy just likes his sex ‘unprotected'. He'll always lie to a girl that he got tested a few days ago and in the morning, you'll see him hovering around the chemist waiting for other customers to get out so he can go in and buy P2 for his chips funga without being judged.
Kasarani
Peeps here are the kind that send good morning texts to random girls every time the sun rises and wreck havoc whenever they rejected. “Kwani huyu dem hawezi appreciate hii effort yote yenye nimemake?”, they wonder. It comes as no surprise that many ladies don't live in Kasa for more than 18 months. The pressure from males is just too much. Males who place too much emotions into the whole process of hooking up.
To make matters worse, the thirsty populace here are mostly young high school leavers or campo guys that are staying with their older brothers or sisters. They adore girls but find it hard to approach the right way. You'll find them staring at passing asses all the time but with no courage to holla.
Every time a young guy from Kasa sees a really hot girl, a river of excuses flowed out of his mouth, similar to the excuses you might have used yourself before chickening out on an approach: “She’s not my type,” “I’m not in the mood,” or “She’s much older than me.” Poor souls. No wonder Vaseline sales have skyrocketed in this neck of the woods
Buru Buru
A Buru dude will chips funga a lady then make her leave very early next morning. Why? Because another chick is coming over at 9’o’clock. Don’t trust me? Go to a Buru matatu stage at 7 in the morning on a Sato and you’ll see groups of lonely mini-skirt clad chicks waiting for matatus to put an end to their walks of shame.
To get the chicks to leave, Buru guys come up with a bunch of lies like, “My daddy said he’ll visit me at 8 in the morning” or ‘” Beshte yangu ameshikwa na Kanjo. Nafaa kuenda kumtoa’’. A good number of them will just order the chic to leave, plain and simple. All this occurs after they have unleashed all their animalistic styles and beastly aggressiveness in the name of sex.
Kileleshwa
This hood has a lot of young guys who have somehow made it. And they are as ruthless as medieval tyrants. Accompanied with endless braggadocio, they use their cash to make sure they get as much pussy as possible. Mr. Thirsty with the money hits on girls by selling his success. Ati “Oh i do this and that. I know so and so.” Then he pulls out his phone and car keys and chicks be wet. It's all good though.
Nairobi West
I was chatting with my friend Brenda the other day and she asked me, “Why is it that every time a guy buys a girl a drink, it’s like she owes him. We don’t owe any of you nothing. You bought the drink because you wanted to. We didn’t ask you. Give it up already!”. I told her that she had probably been going out with two many guys from Nairobi West. It's true that the fisis from this area love drinking. And they use drinks as the only reliable means to get lungula. Luckily, girls love drinking so this strategy always works.
Ngara
Some say that guys from Ngara invented the phrase ‘Kam tuwatch movie'. What starts out as a movie invitation ends up being an intense negotiation for sex. Most of Nairobi's porn consumers also come from Ngara.
The Ngara fisi is also the online pest. He will write on a girl's Facebook wall then comment on what he just wrote. He's the same guy that will slide into the DMs or inbox and send 100 messages but still keep sending despite not getting any response
Ngara guys like to follow pages of models and leave tons of “You’re so hot”, “Beautiful”, comments on their pics and pages. Someone give these guys some water please
Roysambu
Guys from this Thika Road hood are the type to text a chic they just met recently, then call her to ask “Ulipata text yangu?” Fellas, if you text a chick, and she does not text you back, there’s a reason she has not done so. There is nothing wrong with a follow-up phone call, but use your judgement in the situation. If you find yourself calling her constantly or sending texts like “I haven’t heard from you in a while,” or “You must be busy,” then you’re being thirsty. She got your text, but she didn’t want to talk to you.