Sometimes I like to play this game where I pretend to be a writer. As part of this game I like to write notes and ideas on every scrap of paper and note book that I can find. I have post its and pencils a plenty, I've got Hoozits and note books galore. You want sheets of paper? I got 20, but who cares, no big deal, I WANT MORE (thanks Little Mermaid for the stolen lyrics). I have been sitting here tonight staring at a picture of a sheep and participating in a little bit of writers block, so in an effort to clear this I decided to flick through my notes and notebooks to find some inspiration. I guess you could call what I found inspiration... though now I am not really sure. In amongst these notes, without a word of a lie, these sentences lay... waiting to be created into something, if only I could remember what that was...
Farting in a Lift
Rock The Caspar - Pop the Tadpole
Fight Unfairly - Show your boobs
Prostitutes Don't Take Selfies
Funniest First Date Experience - a $2 peep show
Don't make yourself an island, you might forget how to swim
Will I be one of those lovely old ladies that are put together with blow waves, cardigans and brooches?
I did always use to wonder what Donkey Kong had to do with the impending death of a nation but who am I to question the Genius that is Dexter Holland.
Just because a beaver has teeth, don't teeth my beaver.
I bought a Blindfold just so I could have sex without a compliment. Don't look at me.
Do you find the fatter they are, the better they are at Eating?
Girls can and WILL use you for sex, haven't you seen American Pie?
You can nap any time and no one judges you
I hope I am as tattooed as you by the time I am 30
Making out with a guy then having to see him at the fire drill
Scissors and Trolley Jacks
Depth Perception - Like a cats whiskers
Snap Chatting my Vibrator to the wrong Andrew
Feeling the Bottom of Cups
If there is a small child in a pram I like to shake their feet
Doing the pants around the ankles shuffle to retrieve paper and hoping that my arse cheeks don't stick together
Whats a bit of pee between couples
Straight men have better hair than you
Wristies are awkward
You cant run two engines at once, you are not Cat Dog
Where did Kale Come from
Hi, I'm a rock, I will be your pet rock
Please, by all means if you can make sense of any of the above, please let me know, give me some direction and life to these ideas that obviously at one time meant enough for me to write down. Maybe in my next life I will remember to give things titles.... maybe.
Love and Head Scratchings
Miss K
P.S Here is the Sheep that I have been staring at all night. The more you look at it, the funnier it gets.
