Can I get an Amen sisters?
Libra make the best pads, not because of their innovative design or their high absorbency level but because of the little facts that they print on the glue strips. Its like their way of saying "hey, I know your insides are falling out but here, lets make it an education experience". Good Guy Libra pretty much.
There is no bigger betrayal in life that your favourite bra rebelling and stabbing you in the heart. I expected that from my friends, not from my support garments. What ever did we do to them anyway? Most people would be happy to be touching my boobs all day every day, but Nooooooo not you. So Ungrateful.
And on the subject of boobs, you will always have a great amazing boob day when no one is around to see (and you have no one to send them to) as a women I get a lot of unsolicited surprise dick pics. I don't want to be a perpetrator myself... and is it odd to message someone and say "Hey, I am having a great boob day today, would you like to see?". Sorry to the one guy that gets my boobs every time I am having a bonza boob day. I know its a difficult task but you oblige graciously.
Tampons are like odd socks or Alanis Morissette. You'll have ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife or a tampon in this case. It will be with horror that you have to fosic through your hand bag and come up wanting.... which leads me on to my next point.
Nothing equals the levels of bonding that can be formed from having to ask someone for a tampon. Be it a work mate or a random girl in the toilet. You would think after all this time I would be a little bit more prepared. Right? Yeah Wrong.
Drunk girls in the toilets will be your best friends in the world and the nicest people you ever meet that you will never see again. And that's a very sad sorry fact of life. Shout out to all the toilet line friends I have made over the years. Without you I wouldn't have had a tampon, some fresh lipstick or support in how much guys suck. I hope you are all doing well.
The one time you think you are going to get laid and you go to extreme lengths to make sure your body is foot loose, fancy free and without a stray hair in place, he wont show up. That's science. But that's cool because your waxer is the coolest person you know and you will be able to share your disappointment with her next time you go.
Your period will ALWAYS come at the most inopportune time, especially if you have some event on, like your birthday or riding water slides in Bali. I guess it just doesn't want to miss out on the fun, I can understand that. Also ever wondered why the office girl is always a bitch to you? Yep cause its a special event.
Don't kid yourself, your hair will never look as good as when the hair dresser does it. I swear them bitches are possessed by Voodoo Magic, and I for one am not complaining, it would be cool if they were willing to share it though.
In life you will waste a lot of your time painting your nails to make them look real pretty only have them chip the minute the across the roads neighbours cat looks in your direction. And it doesn't matter if its cheap or expensive.... because Nail Polish is a Jerk (not Shellac though because like the reasons above, those little Asian nail ladies are the shit)
You will only ever need to fart at the worst time when there are people around, and if you try to walk away discretely they will follow you. Shit guys, I just want to go for my morning excretion without being followed and judged. Is that too much to ask?
This is the science of having a Vagina. It is neither pleasant nor fair, but thems the breaks for having boobs I guess
Love and Lady likeness
Miss K