Why Dating is Awkwardly Terrifying

I am getting to the age now where I am among the dwindling number of fabulously single and the only way to become unsingle is to date and as we all know dating is terrifying and awkward. There are so many things to take in to account when it comes to modern day dating that it can leaving your head spinning and wondering if it is even worth the effort (for me the jury is still out on this one). I know some people seem to get dates and relationships easily but for me it has always been a bit of an uphill battle and here are some of the reasons why 

Food Noises -  I like to think that I am a pretty patient and tolerant person and for the most part I am. That is until it comes to food noise. As Urthboy puts it, when I see that red flag I am like a bull to the Matador. What if I go on a date with someone and they chew with their mouth open and then I stab them and then I go to jail?? Its going to be pretty hard to find a boyfriend in jail.

How many people is he dating? - I am a one man women, I have always been that way. If I like you, I like you and I will give you my attention until you don't like me anymore (or I don't like you if that may be the case) but from my experiences of modern dating I may be alone in this dating theory. What if I start going on Dates with someone and at the same time he is dating 3 other women. I don't want that, I'm not a jealous person but I want to be the centre of attention. Whats wrong with that? 

How much of your real self do you reveal - I'm odd, no ifs buts or maybes, I am an acquired taste, when you are first dating someone you want them to get a good impression of you so they come back for more, but how much of me should I show them. Its like, yeah this is all of me and its probably better that you know what you are getting yourself in to from the start, but in doing that, you give them a great excuse to run away. We should pour the crazy out in little trickles, I get that, but sometimes my crazy has ideas of its own.

What shoes do you wear - I am a self proclaimed Shoe Pimp, I judge people on their shoes so it only seems natural that people are going to judge me on mine as well. That's why when it comes to picking the shoes for a date its more important than actually picking the outfit, no lie, I will base my whole outfit around the shoes that I want to wear. Do you pull out the Big Guns straight out, are they worth your favourite Jordan 5's or should you ease them in with a lower level shoe to give yourself some room for impressing later (I wore a beater pair of AM90s a few weeks ago and he rocked up in a fresh pair of AM90s and my AM90 clad feet felt shame that I hadn't upped my game but in fairness I didn't know that I had finally found a worthy opponent) There is a science to shoe picking but it appears that I haven't got that science totally figured out yet. 

Do you Kiss? - As an avid reader of romance novels I know that the first kiss is important, it is something that you want to be able to reminisce about for years to come, so you want to make it good. I am socially awkward and have always made to mess up the first kiss, Ill keep talking or start laughing or not know that you are actually possibly trying to kiss me. I THINK a guy tried to kiss me recently and I got so flustered that I told him he was hugging me with his arms in the wrong position. Way to ruin the moment idiot.... clearly that kiss didn't happen. Now I am starting to wonder if there is actually such a thing as a perfect first kiss. I feel like the movies have lied to me.  

 

What if they are a fussy eater - My mumma did raise me to be a good eater, she would feed us weird things out of dog bowls when we small and as such I have grown in to an adult that is willing to try almost anything. My idea of living hell would be to find a man that is all about meat pies, Kebabs and no fruit or vegetables. What if the guy I like is like that? Can I see myself falling in to these routines for the rest of my life? Is it worth even going on the date?

When is it ok to be excited by the new date? - The below meme is my spirit animal. It is the story of my long and arduous dating life. I meet a guy, we have a few amazing dates, I get excited and talk about him to my friends (sorry friends) and then just like that, BANG, its done. Then you have to tell people that nope, this one was a false alarm as well. After how many dates is it ok to be excited and think that there could be a possibility of the dates turning in to dating? 

Will they actually be as tall as what they say they are? - In the last week I have come to the realisation that Tinder 6ft is entirely different to real life 6 ft. I am the first to admit that I am a bit of a heightist. I like my men tall big and burley, and if you tell me that you are 6ft, I am expecting a 6ft man to rock up. Not a man that is 5'10 on a good day. When women said that size doesn't matter, in this incidence they are lying. I want my kids to play basketball and cant risk mating with you just in case they come out short.... you understand right?

How do you deal with the small world connections? Social Media is a thorn in my side sometimes, while it brings us closer to people we care about, it can also highlights past misdemeanours. That whole, People you May know things could have the potential to open up a whole can of worms. A guy you hooked up with is now showing in the "People you May Know" section because he is mates with the guy you are currently crushing on. Melt Down stations and epic stalking to find out how good a friend they actually are. Does the bro code still come in to it when its been years and years and it was only one night?

What topics can you fill the awkward silences with? When there are awkward silences I tend to fill them with stories about myself because I get nervous  (and maybe because my stories are hilarious and I like the sound of my own voice) but I am always worried that this could come across as being arrogant and full on and I don't really want that. I try to go in to every date with a list of topics that I could bring up to help stimulate conversation but then when I get there I forget them and end up going back to story time. Is it wrong to tell them to take a knee or can I bring flash cards?

Am I steam rolling them with my plans - I am the kind of person that needs to know whats happening and what plans have been made. I get stressed if times aren't set and if things are aimless. I am an efficient dating machine and I expect the same in return. People that are indecisive are generally steam rolled by me because if they don't make up their minds I am going to make it up for them, that's just the way that my life goes and maybe that isn't a great thing. I don't want people to think that I am bossy and inflexible, because that's only partly true. If you come up with a good idea and a plan, awesome, we will run with it, but if you don't, we are doing what I want. You have been warned. 

Who pays? - My dad always raised me to believe that Women should pay for themselves and I know that this kinda goes against the ethos of chivalrous dating. Lots of girls just go on date to get free food and I am not ok with this, there is no such thing as a free meal. I always wonder if they are only paying for me because they are wanting something back from it, or because society tells them that they should or are they paying for me because they genuinely want to? I have been trying really hard to be gracious and thankful when it happens and I am getting better. But a little point for guys, if a girl is willing to pay, let her once in a while. She needs you to know that she is happy to contribute and she doesn't expect things from you (well that's the way that I feel about it anyway)

So there is it, the reason that its awkward and terrifying trying to get yourself off the shelf. Add to that the money, the time and personal grooming that is required to date and you can fully understand why people avoid it at all costs. On the flip side though I am starting to realise that every date could actually be an investment in my future, sure today its coffee but in 50 years it may be rocking chairs with the same person, you just never know.

With Love and Dating Dilemmas

Miss K 

P.S I know for my frequent followers you will be like "but you said you were off Tinder" and I was and I am again, but recently I went on a few dates that ended in a "What the fuck happened" kinda scenario and my confidence took a bit of a dive as a result of that, as a way of moving past this I decided to give Tinder another crack. I collected me a few Pokemen to chat to and haven't been back on it since. Though this time around I bit the bullet and actually said yes to meeting up.... such a rebel I am.

The A to Z of things you might not know about Miss K

Allergies - When you are admitted to hospital and you have allergies they give you a red band to highlight that you are a bit special. When ever anyone hospitally comes to talk to you, they ask you what your name, DOB and allergies are. No worries mate, well that is if you have normal allergies, most of mine are pretty common. Latex, Nickle, Lanolin, Nuts but then I have a really fucking stupid one that makes everyone go WHAT!! That's right folks, I am allergic to wood. Only 0.08% of the population is allergic to wood and I happened to find myself in that elite group. I always wanted to be exceptional, but this wasn't really what I had in mind.

Bs and Ds - nope, not talking about boobs, little known fact, when I was younger I was really bad at spelling. Like really bad, to the point where I had to write bed on the top of all my tests so that I wouldn't get my Bs and Ds mixed up. I don't know what happened by one day it just clicked and I kick arse in the language stakes now. (And if you must know, they are DD/E)

Clumsy - My ex always used to joke that he should wrap me up in Bubble Wrap to keep me safe because I am a bit accident prone and hurt myself in stupid ways, if something is going to happen its going to happen to me. I broke my knuckle by a swinging spanner, my nose with a socket wrench (I know about the release button now thank goodness) and just the other day when I was getting a massage the massage table tipped upside down while I was on it. Honestly you wouldn't read about half this stuff.

Depression - I am not to proud to say that I have suffered from it, and in pretty heavy bouts more than once. Its something that is always simmering under the surface and has the potential to tip the scales at the smallest thing. I have had crippling anxiety and there were times when I couldn't leave my house. Because of this I am a huge advocate for Mental Health. There is no shame in admitting that you need help and reaching out could save your life.

Excitement - I get excited about a lot of things, to the point where when I smile my eyes disappear. Fireworks and sunsets and dogs with fluffy tails and especially inflatable waving arm men, they are my most favourite. I like to see the silver lining in life, my mum always says that I was a happy child, I like to be a happy adult as well. 

Frances -  This is my middle name, when I was younger i was strangely embarrassed about it, but as I have grown up it not really an embarrassment. Its a name that was carried by family members before me and if I ever have kids, a name that I will likely pass on to them as well. Little traditions can give you a sort of belonging... or something.

Glasses - I have worn glasses since I was about 8 years old, I need them to see, Like legit, without them I can see about 20 cm in front of me. I was always really shy about wearing them out and having my photo taken because years of being teased as a child must have had a knock on effect to me being an adult. Really it is a stupid shyness to have though, the sexy librarian gets a lot of guys so I have heard. Also with them being more main stream and people wearing glasses just for the fun of it the taboo has lifted. Kissing whilst wearing glasses is still a pain in the arse though, all those nose smudges on the lenses, not that I do kissing these days, but if I did.... you get the picture

Horses - No Thanks Mate. Everyone has their irrational fear, and this is mine. When I was small a horse bolted with me on the back of it, and then over the years I have tried to give them other chances and they have always just turned out to be giant jerks. So if you are thinking of taking me on some romantic date, please, I beg you, take Horse Riding off the list.

 

Independent - I have always been this way, if you want something done, you are best to do it yourself. I lived alone for a long time, I know basic home repairs and can fix a car like no ones business. It has been going on so long that I forget how to let people in and that I don't need to do it all by myself. Its something that I have to work on, and I am trying. 

Japan - I have been there a couple of times and it floored me. From the food to the friendly people to how beautiful and their architecture was, I fell in love. The Japanese culture has been a part of my life for a long time, so thank you Japan. You are awesome and you make amazing cars.

Kookaburra - one time when I was small and eating a piece of steak a Kookaburra swooped down and ripped my nose off. Well not entirely off but off enough to make me need a band aid. Funnily enough though, I am actually still really fond of birds (and steak, did some body say Steak?).

Love - You could say that I am unlucky in love and you would be right, but instead of making me bitter and hating the world it has done the opposite. I love love, I live for love and nothing makes me happier than seeing people that I love being loved. I am coming to the age where everyone I know is getting married and having kids and this explodes my heart for them because they deserve happiness and to feel all the love in the world. Keep loving each other people, you make my heart smile and I am excited about the one day when someone is going to love me that way as well.

Music - It is pretty much my everything. I have no musical talent but I don't like silence so I am all about other peoples music. Sometimes I cry when I watch people playing piano, this morning on the way to brunch I was listening to Neil Diamond and Kesha with a bit of Elvis thrown in for good measure and you bet your bottom dollar that I was singing to all of it at the top of my lungs!!!! I am bad at singing but I do it anyway, because YOLO.

Nike - I don't know if it was ever a conscious decision to start collecting shoes, it just kinda happened. I got my first pair and then found others that I liked and it grew and grew and grew. I became known for my shoes and on Casual Fridays I used to have people coming to my desk just to see what I was rocking. I have lined up for Shoes even.... jesus, who have I become. Well actually I haven't become anyone, I was always this way, just now this way comes with much cooler kicks

Opinionated - I always laugh at the Meme that says "Some things are better left unsaid, but I am going to say them anyway" and that kind of has become the unwitting moto for my life. I try hard to keep my onions to myself but when I feel passionate about something, it seems to spew forth from my mouth.

Perfume - Do you know how some people just had a smell? For me that smell is Ralph Lauren - Romance. I have worn it since I was 18 so I guess by now, 15 years later you could say that it is my signature fragrance. See, like I mentioned in L, I love love and everything around love. Ever fragrances of the same kind.

Quiet - I am this loud confident person in public but in private I love the quiet and the still. I am an introverted Extrovert and this means that my head wars with itself a lot. I need time away to get myself together before I can tackle the next bout of life.

Romance Novels - No Shame here, but I love me a bit of trashy romance. It gives me an unrealistic hope that one day someone will put up with my shit and say that they love me. That's a pretty exciting prospect and he a bit of unadulterated literary sex never hurt anyone

S - An S13 Silvia name Stella - she is my proudest achievement and also my biggest regret. I got her as a stock little thing and turned her in to the Diamond that she ended up being. Until the day that I die, I will regret selling her because the day that she left, I lost a tiny little bit of my heart

Trains - about 4 months ago I decided that I wanted to be a train driver, 3 months ago I became a trainee train driver. Toot Toot mother fuckers. This just goes to show that you can do what ever you put your mind to (and when your mind isn't in it, you can do what ever your friends believe that you can do. Thanks friends)

Underwear, its is a necessary evil but I bloody hate it. The minute that I am home it comes off, my skin needs to breath. But the flip side of that is that for someone that doesn't like underwear, I certainly have a whole heaps of it. I am easily fooled by the marketing that I will be more attractive if I wear Lingerie and it strangely works. I have this new theory that if I am wearing sexy underwear I do better in my exams. For every exam I have worn lovely little lace things and have scored 98% + and the day that I wore some boring old cotton tails I got 90%. There has to be some science to that I am sure.

Vulgar - I was tossing up between Vulgar and Vagina but then I realised that by mentioning my vagina that would actually be vulgarity. I have a potty mouth but I am trying to improve on that. Also cutting down on the sexual connotations, sure I still giggle but I am working on that as well

Wasley - That's who I am. A few years ago I went through a really rough break up and my sister posted a nice photo of us on my Facebook with the sentence saying "You will get through this because you are a Wasley and its what Wasleys do" and she is 100% right. I am a Wasley and I can get through anything. **

X-Rays - Tie this one in with being Clumsy I guess but I have had a truck load of XRays, on everything. My Feet (fractures in my toes), Hands (Broken knuckle and Boxers bone) My Hip (chips off the top of my hip bone from an ice skating stack) My Spine (crocked cause life) My Face (hair line fracture in my cheek bone) and probably more that are slipping my mind at the moment. I should have kept them all and then turned them in to Venetians for my Volvo Wagon that I want(ohhhhh that totally could have been my V word... shit. Next time). I think I read that in a book once and have wanted to do it every since

Youngest - I have an older sister, there is just the two of us. I have always been an emotional person, she used to get people coming up to her at school saying "your sister is crying AGAIN" and as much as she hated it, she probably felt like she should protect me and look after me. I really do appreciate that. Even if we used to (and sometimes still do) fight and hate each other.

Zoos - yeah it appears that I am scraping the bottom of the barrel to fund something for Z but I do like Zoos, true story. Seeing that horses and dates are out of the picture, I would be happy with a date to the Zoo to see other kinds of animals. Because animals are rad. 

So there it, an alphabet of information that took you time to read that you wont get back, You're welcome

Love and Letters 

Miss K

** When I was younger I got some pretty bad tattoos, I don't regret them because they were part of my tattooed journey but I can say that the pick and sticks weren't the best. Anyway I got this rad dragon tattooed on my lower back (as all 18 year old girls did back in the year 2001) and to add on to it, I got Wasley written next to it, except it looked more like it said Wasted and the wings of the Dragon spelt sex when you looked at it from the side and covered up its body.... so now all we can think of when we talk about my old tattoos is the Wasted Sex Dragon..... not very Wasley like, had a bit of wasted sex in my time, but sadly I have never been a Dragon 

The Friend Zone and Other Things

I got approached about writing a post on the Friendzone the other night and I thought FINALLY something that I have had a lot of experience in. Actually I am starting to think that my whole life has just been a Contiki Tour around the Friend Zone, complete with too much drinking and a case of Contiki Cough (or Chlamydia if you were super unlucky). Is it because I am too quick to develop feelings for someone, or the fact that I am some sort of hideous creature like Quasimodo that is still searching for my Esmeralda? Lets investigate this

Am I too nice? - Yeah look, I can hear some of you scoffing about this because there is no two ways about it, I am a bit of a cunt, but deep down I am actually a pretty decent person. It might be deep deep down but it is still in there. A few years ago I worked a brief stink in recruitment and while I was doing all the right things, I couldn't get the conversions because apparently I am to nice and it really easy to say no to me. It appears that this has spilled out in to my dating life. I will ask for something, you will say no and I will say, oh ok instead of grabbing you by the horns and forcing you to do what I want. Maybe I need to work on that.

Am I too cool? - you don't want to ruin the friendship by saying yes to our bits touching... or something. I know I am cool, I am fun and I have great stories and I probably say what everyone wants to but are to scared to, but if I am out of the friend zone I probably wont change that much. I will say the inappropriate things and then get back to making you a sandwich. You would be living the best of both worlds. Because really, think about it, if I am this much fun out of the sheets, just imagine what I am like in the sheets (actually probably don't imagine because you might just be let down if it was to even eventuate)

Am one I of the guys? - I like cars and beer and sport and that's cool, but the draw back of that is that I think maybe the boys forget that I have boobs and womanly urges. Maybe they are like me, if I don't think about a guy romantically, to me,you are all just Ken Dolls and have plastic pants and no bits. Is this the way they see me?? A Barbie Doll with a perfect body and no facilities for fun? Am I like an A Sexual Worm? Fuck

I was too quick to agree to  hitting the sheets - This one was more so back in the day than in modern times but I used to fall in to bed with guys I had crushes on knowing full well that would probably be the end of it and I would be back in the Zone quickly but hey, attention was attention. These days I never actually sleep with anyone so maybe there needs to be some middle ground. When is the right amount of time to know someone before you sleep with someone? Is there a special formula that I don't know about? Someone help me. I always used to joke when I was younger that my Vagina was actually Pandora's Box, guys would fall in to it and never come out, but it appears that it might have lost its power

Do they even know that I am trying to get out? - This one kind of goes hand in hand with being too nice, but I am starting to think that I might actually be really bad at giving signs. What is a big deal to me (think touching or cuddling or just being in someones space) is actually pretty normal for most people. I make these big grand gestures that can be overlooked for the fact that any girl likes to cuddle. Jesus when will the world realise that I am not just any girl (If I could put an emoticon in here, it would be the one of the monkey covering its eyes, so you'll just have to use your imagination). I tried to get out of the friendzone with a mate late last year by draping myself all over him in a drunken stupor, his remark to all of our friends was "check her out, laying all over me". That didn't work out so well for me, but I am actually happy that it didn't, hind sight hey.  

I talk about other boys and whats going on - I am the queen of self sabotage, ask my best friend Vic, if there were medals for it, I would certainly win something. One day she asked me if I was dropped as a child.... I actually wish I was because then it could explain my behaviour, I will be making headway in getting up the Friend Zone slope and then I will panic and do something dumb like making out with someone else AND THEN reporting it back to the guy. Stupid Hey. He was probably warming to the idea of us as a thing and then I go and tell him about a thing with someone else and he backs off. Its really a vicious cycle. I did it because I liked him, he took it as a sign that I didn't like him. I am not saying that it makes sense because it most certainly doesn't but its just what I do ok. Yo, future Kerry, learn to shut your mouth for once.

Am I too available?  I am sure the saying treat them mean keep them keen could possibly play some part in this equation, but I was never really good at the mean bit. If my "Friend" is wanting to hang out and do things I will petty much drop all that I am doing to hang out with them because what if this is the one time that could change their mind about me? But probably in reality it isn't and they just now expect me to always be there and the mystery is gone. I should probably get a Friend Zone Sponsor, if I want to rush to his side, I can call this friend and she will talk me down for the ledge.... prevention is better than cure. 

Do I put them in the Friendzone First? As mentioned above, I am a bit retarded in matters of the heart so it is entirely plausible that I give off the impression of Friendzoning First. I joke and call them mate and this would actually give them the wrong idea. I found out today that there is a big difference between calling someone a friend and calling someone a mate. Apparently if you call someone a friend it means that you are wanting to bang.... apparently, who knew. Who knew? So from now on, maybe I should just call everyone friend so that I can keep my options open.

Am I actually really hideous and wanting to go above my station?  More and more I am starting to think that this actually might be the case, but then I take a bomb selfie and change my mind. I ain't bad for an ageing vintage, Just gotta find a connoisseur that is willing to acquire me.

 

Don't worry, I fully see the irony of this post and to anyone that is reading this that I have Friend Zoned, I am sorry, it is the circle of life of guess. One day you are Simba in the Pride Lands and the Next you are the Pride Lands that are being Ruled by Scar. Being in the Friend Zone is tough at the most normal of times but couple that with having a Vagina and a Gamete of female emotions and you are pretty much fucked. As women we like  to look in to things too deeply and dissect every interaction to try and find the hidden meaning of it. Its like, I know he is saying this, but his actions are saying this, so Hooray, he likes me. Most of the time he doesn't though. You just need to find your map and get back in to the Friend Zone where you belong. I realise that now

Love and Zoning Laws

Miss K

P.S Sorry about all the Disney References. I watched Inside Out last night so I am in a bit of a Disney Mood. Disney is kinda like the Simpsons, you can apply it to any aspect of your life and it just makes sense. Also I will admit that I have never seen the Hunchback of Notre Dam and had to look it up on Google to find out who his love interest was.... actually I don't even know if they do fall in love. I hope so because it will give hope to little Quasimodo me.

Fuck My Beauty Standards

The other day while getting ready for a massage I came to a revelation about my body and if I am honest its probably something that should have happened a long time ago. I am 95% (because 100% would leave no room for improvement) happy with the skin that I am in, even though society tells me that I probably shouldn't be. I was trying to pick the perfect knickers to wear and on looking down I realised that I have a pretty great bum. It may not be rock hard and looks more like a rockmelon than a watermelon, but it is mine and it is the way it is because of the life experiences that I have had. We've lived a good life, my arse and me, and here is what we think.

So much of how we view ourselves comes down to how we think that other people view us. I was chatting with a guy the other night and as so many of these young ones do, he asked for Nudes and to entice me to send him some, he sent me a couple of torso shots and I was blown away, this kid was in a good shape, like great shape and I was gob smacked and instantly instead of wanting to send him something back I retreated in to myself and decided that next to that, my body was not worthy of attention. I was making a decision for him, I decided that I wasn't good enough and wouldn't really listen to what he had to say even when he tried to convince me otherwise... the human brain is pretty stupid, I talked myself out of the compliments that were probably coming. Why would he be asking for nudes if he didn't find me attractive? The thought that I wasn't good enough even overruled the fact that I gave up sending nudes to people years ago.... stupid brain.

Its not easy being a women and having these preconceived ideas on beauty being thrown at us through the media and as much as we would like to think that it doesn't affect us, it really does. Recently I went on a few dates with this amazing guy and I was really excited about the prospect that it could be something, when he stopped contacting me, one of the first things that crossed my mind was that it must have been because I wasn't pretty enough or skinny enough for him. That really is the most preposterous thought, he had spent time with me previously so he knew what I was about, why do we so quickly jump in that direction and blame ourselves for not being enough. We discount everything else about ourselves that is great (like my eyes, or my personality or my superior joke telling ability) and let it be over ruled by how much we weigh and what we think people think of us. What is wrong with us?

If I was to describe my ideal man to you, he would be tall, chubby, bearded and tattooed. I like Chubby Men, I have always liked Chubby Men, to me they are gods perfection, so with this in mind does it not also make sense that there are men out there that like Chubby Women. I am tall, chubby and tattooed (I have been working on the bearded but sadly no matter how hard I try I cant seem to get that one) so why cant I be gods perfection as well?

I follow a lot of plus Size Models on Instagram and I always look at them and think about how beautiful they are and I would always wish that I had the same confidence as them and then I realised that there is no reason that I cant.  I always used to worry about being single at this age because my "Prime" was behind me, my body isn't as tight and perky as 18 year old Kerry's body and that made me upset because my great love would be getting the watered down version, but then I got thinking, why cant now be my prime. Its not so much about what you look like or what you used to look like but its how you hold you self. There is a line in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory where Willy Wonka is being accosted by one of the little girls and he turns to her and says "Well, Confidence is Key" and I am going to make that my Mantra. And while my body may not be as taunt and terrific as it used to be, my face has certainly improved, and that's mostly what the world sees anyway so I'm taking that as a win. You're welcome world, you're welcome

I am able to look at this situation from both angles, I have been skinny and believe it or not I hated it. A few years ago I went through a pretty nasty break up and my body suffered because of it. I dropped 30kg in about 3 months and everyone was saying how great I looked but when I looked in the mirror I was so unhappy. At first I wasn't sure if it was because I hated the reason for the weight loss or I actually hated what I saw and I am now starting to realise it was probably the latter. My ribs stuck out, my hips jutted and I had lost all the soft that I liked and realistically I looked like a bobble head. It was terrifying to me. I look back on photos and feel ill because of it. Sure I fit in to societies idea of skinny beauty but I went against what I felt to be beautiful.

I have friends that are fabulously skinny and work out and limit their life styles so that they can have their perfect bikini body and I support them totally, they are being happy with the skin that they are in as well, they are just doing it in a different way to me. I like going to the gym, I enjoyed boxing and being fit and strong but I also enjoy going out and eating and spending times with my friends without limitations, that to me is the balance. There is no right or wrong answer on what you think is beautiful or how you want your body to be. Be happy with what you've got or change it until you are, but only do it because you want to and not because society tells you that you should. To me you are all beautiful and perfect, true story. 

Love and Thunderous Thighs

Miss K 

P.S Turns out that my Underwear for my massage was the least of my problems, to say it was a disaster is maybe the understatement of the year. I ended up with 2nd Degree Burns from a Malfunctioning rain shower and bruises and a bang on the head when the massage table we were using flipped and catapulted me to the heavens. When I got over the pain I was thankful that I had chosen the black lace Brazilian cut panties because I am sure the Masseuses would have been thankful they were something pretty as my arse went cartwheeling past her face.  Its ok to laugh, I certainly did when the pain stopped.